Um   I can totally Explain
by Madame C.K. Mookie
Summary: Itachi takes Sasukes phone to teach him lesson and begins to text Sakura while pretending to be Sasuke. He intended for it to be a one time thing to pass the time, but soon spirals out of control. Rated M for future content
1. He's got to learn sometime

Itachi Uchiha, 19, awoke to a rather loud, vastly annoying sound. He groaned and struggled to focus his eyes. Eventually he managed to heave himself out of bed and stumbled into the kitchen where he found the source of his awakening: a cellphone left on a marble counter. Itachi picked up the phone and made his way to his brother's room.

"Sasuke!" he called, knocking on the door.

No answer.

"Hey, Sasuke! Come answer this damn thing!" He said, raising his voice slightly.

No answer.

Itachi sighed and flung the door open. His brother laid in his bed, head under a mess of pillows. What a lump.

"Oh Sasuke," Itachi cooed.

"What?" muttered the lump.

"Answer your damn phone," Itachi demanded, chunking the phone at Sasuke and pelting him in the head.

"Ow! What the hell?" Sasuke yelled, sitting up and rubbing his head. "Who is it?"

"Its that woman of yours," Itachi answered, leaving the room, "Tell her to get a life."

Sasuke glanced at his phone: 7 new text messages from his girlfriend, Saukra Haruno. Sasuke flopped back down on his bed. Ever since he switched schools and moved in with his brother she had been extra clingy. His phone received a dozen texts plus a couple phone calls ever hour. After a while he started to ignore her. He didn't want to break up with her; she was fun to have around when he wanted someone to fool around with and sexting her was great. It was all this other nonsexual stuff that aggravated him.

Sasuke slammed the phone down on the night stand and attempted to return to the deep sleep he was previously enjoying. He shut his eyes, quieted his mind and . . .

BUZZ!

His eyes shot open at the sound of his phone going off again. That woman was seriously getting on his last nerve.

_Sakura's lucky she has such a hot body _he thought, pulling himself out of bed to check his phone.

To: Sasuke

Hope you're having a great morning! Love you baby!

-Cherry 3

"I _was _having a great morning," Sasuke mumbled to himself, "Until I got smacked in the head with a phone that won't quit ringing!"

After deleting all Sakura's text messages Sasuke checked the time on his phone: 6:23 A.M. He decided it was about time for him to get ready for school. He crawled out of bed, got dressed, and ruffled his hair lightly. Once he completed this time-consuming routine he paid a visit to Itachi's room. Itachi laid face first in his pillows. At least one of them had gotten some extra sleep.

"Itachi, get up," Sasuke grumbled sleepily. "You're going to be late for school."

"I'm a senior," Itachi reminded him, "My first class is at noon."

"Screw you," Sasuke mumbled sleepily. Sasuke was only a freshmen; this whole thing seemed completely unfair.

"I know you want to," Itachi replied coolly, " But that would be incest, and, as much as my fan girls would love that, I don't want any deformed babies running around."

"Even if I did want to screw you, WHICH I DON'T, there wouldn't be any deformed babies. We're both men, moron."

At this statement Itachi sat straight up in his bed, staing at Sasuke in utter shock.

"You're a man?" he exclaimed.

" . . . Go screw yourself," Sasuke snapped.

"I prefer to screw women," Itachi replied, "We can't all be completely sexually satisfied by ourselves like you little brother."

"I don't screw myself," Sasuke growled indignantly, "You know Sakura and I have a great sex life!"

"Yes," Itachi admitted, "And this great sex life of yours includes phone sex. Phone sex does include masturbation, which, technically, is screwing yourself. Unless you just sit there and do nothing while your girlfriend moans and screams sexual things in your ear. If that's the case then you can just admit you're gay and we can all move on."

Sasuke had no response for this so he muttered some cuss words under his breath, grabbed some coffee from the kitchen, and headed out to school.

A few hours later Itachi awoke to the same loud, annoying vibrating sound from early that morning. Itachi groaned. Why couldn't Sasuke just put it on silent? For some reason people seemed to think that a vibrating phone is somehow less annoying than a ringing phone. This thought is entirely false. Ring, ring, ring and buzz, buzz, buzz actually produce the same amount of irritation.

Itachi slowly got up and went into the kitchen where he discovered the phone lying next to the coffee maker. As he fixed his coffee (2 creams, no sugar) he kept staring at Sasuke's phone. What did the that girl need so badly? It was only 10 in the morning. Itachi picked up the phone curiously.

_Sasuke really shouldn't leave this out in the open if he doesn't want people reading it _Itachi thought _He left it out. It woke me up. It's his fault if I read it._

Itachi took a long, slow sip of coffee and casually flipped open his brother's phone, then quickly choked upon seeing the message.

To: Sasuke

I'm supposed to be focusing on math right now but I'm to horny to think of any numbers, except for 69 maybe. ;) Damn I need you baby.

-Cherry 3

Itachi finished choking on his coffee and wiped his lip. If Sasuke was going to be a dick and leave his phone around to wake up innocent sleeping people then he didn't deserve to have hot sext with his girlfriend. Itachi took the phone, turned it to silent, and shoved it in his pocket.

_He's got to learn sometime. _


	2. First Text

Itachi sat bored to tears in his college level ethics class. None of his friends were in his class which seemed utterly ridiculous. What good was having a large group like the Akastuki if he couldn't get even one of them in this class? He flipped open his phone: 0 text messages. He scrolled through his contacts until he found Kisame and typed a quick message.

To: Kisame

Bored. Speak now.

It wasn't long before Itachi received a response.

To: Itachi

Srry 4 your boredom. But I'm getting 'help' in math from a hot chick w/ huge boobs. Find a girl to tlk 2 man. . . And why don't you have a signature?

-The Finn

Itachi ignored the signature comment and stared at the text. Kisame's texting style was the most random thing he had ever seen: a mixture of slang, numbers, and proper English. However, Kisame did make an interesting point. Itachi scanned the room for women and found an attractive blonde to his right. He inched closer to her with a smile.

"Hello there."

"Hi!" she replied happily, ". . . Do you understand what the teacher is talking about?"

Itachi stopped and glanced at the board for a few seconds.

"Oh. We're talking about progression of global warming," he explained, "You see if we continue on our ozone killing path then eventually the polar ice caps will melt. The richer countries will be able to build fences and damns to keep the water out, but the poor third world countries will drown."

The blonde stared at him blankly.

"Huh?"

"Big Cars Equals Dead Poor Countries," he said slowly.

"Oh…," the blonde whispered, finally understanding, ". . . Well if it comes down to other people or my stuff. . . I'm going to choose my stuff. I like my hummer!"

Itachi's eye twitched a little. Surely this girl wasn't serious.

"But without those third world countries there will be no sweatshop workers to make those cute little shirts you wear," he pointed out sarcastically.

"Oh no! Don't worry!" she exclaimed with smile, slapping him playfully, "I got this from the mall . . . not the third world."

With that Itachi slid back over to his original spot and flipped his phone back open.

To: Kisame

I do not need a signature to identify me. Women are morons. Now, stop staring at that poor girl's chest and talk.

After a few minutes with no response Itachi assumed Kisame was preoccupied at the moment. He drummed his fingers on the desk and stared at the clock. He still had forty minutes left in class and he certainly wasn't going to waste it listening to the professor. He was finally freed from boredom when he scratched his legs and fingers ran across a large bulge in his pants which surprisingly wasn't his penis. Instead it was Sasuke's phone, sitting idly in his jeans. Without a moment's hesitation he whipped it out and flipped it open. For some reason it didn't shock him to see another message from Sakura awaiting an answer.

To: Sasuke

Forget what I said earlier about being horny. I took care of it myself. I don't always need you, you know. ;)

-Cherry

Itachi raised an eyebrow at this message; it was the first tiny flicker of independence that Sakura had shown. Maybe, somewhere under the insecurities, there was a backbone in this woman and he intended to find it . . . or waste the rest of this class trying. Itachi took a second to go through Sasuke's previous texts and become acquainted with the style of typing Sasuke used: fairly good English with very little text slang. Itachi shrugged, not surprised at all by the style; Sasuke probably thought he was too amazing for conformist slang. Once Itachi was sure he could convincingly pretend to be Sasuke he sent his first text to Sakura

To: Sakura

Hey Boo. Sorry about not answering earlier. My phone was charging. So you took care of it without me? Sounds like I missed out on the fun ;) How are you?

-Avenger


	3. Oh F

Sakura stared at her cell phone in disbelief; Sasuke hadn't talked to her in days. Lately he appeared to have lost interest in her; he ignored all her calls and texts. Even though Sakura knew the best strategy in this situation would be to play hard to get, she couldn't help but cling to him even more. The tighter she grasped the less attention she received. She was about to give up all together but his sudden change of heart brought relief to her. She replied as fast as her thumbs could text.

To: Sasuke

No Worries babe. Sorry for all those messages. I was beginning to think you didn't like me. :P

-Cherry

Itachi was astonished by how quickly his message was answered. Poor girl must really like his brother. He felt somewhat guilty that he was giving her hopes up like this, but perhaps he could help her out.

To: Sakura

No, of course I still like you. Like I said, my phone was on the charger. Just try to back off the texts. I promise to answer you as soon as I can if you promise to not blow up my phone with messages.

-Avenger

This message made Itachi slightly nervous. The text sounded a bit too sensitive to be his little brother; he probably should have thrown the word boo somewhere in there but he hated that term. Seriously did he think that Sakura was a fucking ghost or something? Was he trying to scare her? Boo…how incredibly moronic. It must not have matter all that much though; Sakura returned a message within seconds.

To: Sasuke

Sure thing hun. :) What are you up to anyways?

-Cherry

Itachi spent the remainder of the class texting back and forth with Sakura. He intended to end the conversation as soon as his ethics class was over. He intended to delete the messages that he shared with her. He intended to return the phone to Sasuke's room later without so much as a word to him. He intended to a lot of things. None of them happened. Itachi continued to talk to Sakura throughout the day. He found that not only did the girl have one hell of a backbone underneath her clingy nature, but she was also intelligent, funny, and captivating. What the hell was she doing with his brother?

Hiding Sasuke's phone from him turned out to be considerably easy. Itachi and Sasuke had the exact same phone so he could text Sakura right in front of the idiot without arousing any suspicion. Anytime Sasuke asked him about the phone he simply deflected the question with a snarky remark.

"Itachi, have you seen my phone anywhere?" Sasuke asked.

"Oh what do you care Sasuke. Quite frankly it's pathetic to see you pretending to text people. We all know you don't have any friends," Itachi smirked.

"What if I want to talk to Sakura?"

"Please, all you do is ignore her." Itachi remarked with a hint of irritation in his voice.

"What's it to you?" Sasuke questioned, raising an eyebrow. Since when did Itachi give a shit about his girlfriends?

"Just annoyed with the fact that you're still pretending to be straight. Ignoring a perfectly beautiful woman? Seems a little strange to me." Itachi said with a shrug, returning to his façade of apathy.

Sasuke stormed off in a cloud of swears and sarcastic remarks but suspected nothing. Hiding Sakura from Itachi's friends proved to be more difficult. Especially when they all came over that night.

"Itachi? Who on earth on you talking to? We're all here." Kisame observed, trying to peer over his shoulder.

"I have other people I talk to, Kisame." Itachi explained, shutting the phone and shoving it into his pocket.

"That means he's talking to a girl," Sesori stated.

"Is she hot?" Hidan inquired.

"I never even said I was talking to a girl," Itachi pointed out.

"So she's ugly."

"No she's not!" Itachi growled defensively.

"It's a girl!" Kisame yelled.

"What?" Deidara looked up from his art. He barely paid attention to these arguments. "Is someone having a baby?"

"Itachi might if he gets far with this woman of his," Pein jumped in, "Please use protection."

"Will you all shut up," Itachi snapped, "I am not dating anyone. If you have to know. . .I'm . . . talking to my brother's girlfriend through his phone while pretending to be him. Now please be silent."

". . . That's messed up, man," Kisame said, shaking his head.

"You dated a dolphin once Kisame!" Itachi retorted.

"I'm half fish! And she was my dolphin, not my brothers," Kisame reminded.

"Look he ignores her all the time, and I'm not exactly requesting naked photos from her or anything. I'm just chatting with her to pass the time." Itachi justified his actions, talking more to himself than to them," Besides. . . Sauske's a little bitch."

"Agreed."

Once his friends were ok with the idea of Itachi texting Sakura, he felt practically no remorse about what he was doing. They talked constantly for the rest of the week, and he learned a lot about her; she was actually quite an enchanting creature. However, the more they talked the harder it was for him to pretend to be Sasuke. Occasionally he forgot who he was suppose to be and slipped up.

Itachi again sat in his ethics class, bored out of his mind. The girl next to him turned out to be even more of an idiot than he had originally thought.

"I think it's ok to cheat on your spouse if the person you cheat on them with is really really hot!" the blonde remarked enthusiastically during the class discussion.

Itachi had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing. Normally he wouldn't bother with manners, but the professor frowned upon any disrespect during his discussions. Instead, Itachi reached for Sasuke's phone.

To: Sakura

This girl in our ethics class has got to be the most air-headed woman I've ever had the displeasure of listening to. You would not believe what she said. I have no idea what a girl like this is doing in an ethics class. Hitler had better morals.

-Avenger

It wasn't until Sakura texted him back that he realized his mistake.

To: Sasuke

Lol Really? What did she say? I didn't know you were taking ethics. Isn't that a college class?

-Cherry

_Oh shit._ He thought and hastily conjured up a lie.

To: Sakura

Normally it is. I'm just smart like that ;)

-Avenger

_Sasuke? Smart? Well that's the biggest lie I've ever told_. But she bought the horrendous story nonetheless. Things went on without a hitch until the end of the week when Itachi received a text message that nearly stopped his heart.

To: Sasuke

Guess who's on her way to see you right now? Me! I know you missed me so I thought I'd surprise you with a visit since my fall break starts next week! I originally planned to show up on your doorstep as a surprise but I was so excited I couldn't wait! I just had to tell you now! I'll see you in a few hours baby :D

-Cherry

_Oh fuck. . ._


	4. What happened?

"Sasuke. . . ?" Itachi called out hesitantly.

"What do you want," Sasuke snapped.

"So here's the thing," Itachi began, clearing his throat, "I took your phone and used it to pretend to be you and text your girlfriend while I was bored."

"What?" Sasuke yelled.

"And she's on her way over here right now to spend fall break with you."

"What?" Sasuke repeated, enraged.

"And she may be under the impression that you aren't an insensitive, moronic homosexual."

"What!" he bellowed yet again.

"Do you need a hearing aid or is that the only word you know?"

Itachi knew that he was already in hot water and insulting Sasuke probably wasn't the best idea at the moment, but he simply couldn't help himself. Insulting Sasuke was just too easy.

"What the hell Itachi!" Sasuke snarled, "Who do you think you are?"

"Hey. You should be thanking me. I convinced her that you were intelligent, witty man . . . come to think of it . . . How in the world did she believe I was you? No offense, but your girlfriend isn't very observant,"Itachi remarked.

"Fuck you!" Sasuke roared, lunging at Itachi. Itachi simply stepped to the side, dodging his idiot brother and sending him crashing into their kitchen table.

"Don't be so emotional. Screaming isn't going to change anything. She's going to be here any second so just cool down," Itachi ordered.

"Give me my phone," Sasuke demanded.

"Sure, you'll just leave it somewhere again," Itachi reminded him with a shrug, "Plus I already memorized her number."

"Whatever," Sasuke mumbled, "I'll let it slide this time, but if you ever pull this shit again I'm telling her the truth."

"Oh I'm so scared," Itachi smirked sarcastically, "You're going to tell her the clever, smooth intellectual she's been talking to isn't you? Gee, that'll be a shocker. You're lucky that I don't tell her the truth. She'd dump you and run to me so fast it'd make your ugly little head spin."

"Or she'd think you're a creepy, deceitful pervert and run to her boyfriend for comfort."Sasuke challenged.

"Well we could always find out when she gets here. I have nothing to lose," Itachi pointed out.

Itachi and Sasuke stood for minute, each waiting for the other to back down.

". . . I'm going to get a shower," Sasuke muttered, breaking the staring contest, "If she shows up just let her in. Don't you dare talk to her."

_Thank God Sasuke is such a wuss ._Itachi thought to himself. Truthfully he didn't know how Sakura would react to the news. _When all else fails . . . bluff._

Eventually he would tell Sakura. . . if she didn't figure it out first. Certainly she would notice that her boyfriend had suddenly become duller, stupider, and more revolting in general. The doorbell rang, interrupting his thoughts.

"Sasuke," Sakura called.

Itachi slowly made his way to the door and swung it open. A beautiful girl with short, pink hair stood in the doorway, looking at him with large, emerald eyes.

"Sakura," Itachi greeted her with a warm smile, "Please come in."

"You must be Sasuke's older brother, Itachi," she replied, making her way in the house with her bags, "I'm sorry for intruding like this. I hope I'm not being too much of a burden."

"You're fine, "he assured her, taking the bags out of her hands and heading towards the guest room.

"Oh! You don't have to that!" she squeaked and reached to take her things back. He ignored her and kept a tight grip on her luggage.

"You cut your hair off," he observed.

"Um . . . yea . . . but how did you know it use to be long?" she asked.

"Sasuke told me, "Itachi explained hastily, "he talks about you a lot."

"That's so sweet!" she squealed and then added nervously, "I know he likes long hair. . . do you think he'll be upset with me?"

"Probably, but he's a moron," Itachi said with a smile, "Personally, I love the short hair on you. It's quite becoming."

Sakura blushed and looked down at her feet. _Are all Uchiha men this charming. . . and sexy?_

Itachi set her things down and turned to her.

"If you need anything don't hesitate to ask," he told her with a wink and then promptly left the room.

Later on that night Sakura settled down on the leather sofa in the living room with Sasuke to watch a movie. Sakura reached for his hand but Sasuke rejected it by grabbing the remote. She sighed softly and looked away; Sasuke was acting so strange. It was like he wasn't happy to see her at all which couldn't possibly be true. They had been getting along so well lately; she thought he'd be ecstatic! Instead he only grunted when she spoke to him, and she had received no physical attention from him whatsoever.

"Look Sakura," he spoke at last, "It's really nice that you're here and all, but I already had plans for fall break. I'm leaving on Wednesday to go to the mountains with Itachi and some of our friends. Our parents insisted that we spend time in the winter cottage."

"Oh that's fine," Sakura whispered.

"Don't be upset. It's no big deal," he grunted.

"I'm not upset, "she promised with a broken grin, "But hey! Before you leave, we should trash hotel room or two."

Sasuke stared blankly at her.

"You know . . . like Zelda and Scott Fitzgerald. . ." she elaborated, giggling.

His expression remained the same.

"Oh come on! We just talked about this last week!" she exclaimed, "Scott Fitzgerald and his wife, Zelda. He wrote The Great Gatsby. We said that they were really messed up . . . what with the cheating on each other all the time. But the one thing they got right was trashing hotel rooms. Don't you remember? You said it sounded like fun . . . you said they were the original drunken rock stars!"

". . . Yea sure," Sasuke agreed. He'd do anything to shut this woman up.

Sakura rolled her eyes and stared out the window. Who was this boring idiot? What in the world happened to the bright, comical guy that she had been talking to all week? She missed that man; she liked that man. She might have actually loved that man. But now he was gone and she was stuck with the regular old Sasuke again.

Sasuke got up to grab a coke.

"Damn!" he swore under his breath when he discovered the fridge to be empty, "I'm going to get some drinks. Be back in twenty minutes."

He left without a goodbye and without asking her if she'd like anything in particular. Hers eyes welled up with tears and she bit down on her hand to fight them. It was at this moment that Itachi made his way into to room.

"Sakura!" he yelled rushing over to her and ripping her hand from her own teeth, "What the hell! Don't do that to yourself!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" she repeated over and over, sobbing, "This is so stupid! So incredibly stupid!"

"It's ok. . . "he murmured in a low voice, "My brother's a jackass, I know. Why don't we go to my room and talk about it?"

"I guess that sounds good . . ."she whimpered, following him to his bedroom.

Author's note: Sorry if there are any grammatical errors or silly little mistakes. I normally proofread it three times, but this time I only reread it twice becuase it's three a.m. and I'm exhuasted! Hope you like it anyways. I'm trying to update everyday while I'm on break.


	5. Buying time

Sakura sat nervously on the edge of Itachi's king sized bed. It felt so strange being alone with this man she barely knew, crying her eyes out to him. Itachi was very polite though; he sat a respectful distance away from her and spoke gently.

"I'm fine. Really," she insisted.

"Right. Of course you are, "Itachi agreed sarcastically, "After all whenever I'm feeling fine I like to sit down and cry and tear into my hand with my teeth."

"Ha. Ha." She snapped, returning the sarcasm with added bitterness, "It was stupid for me to be upset. So he didn't say goodbye. Boo fuckin' hoo. He's going to the convenient store, not war. I think I'll live."

"You don't have to do that," Itachi told her.

". . . Do what?"

"Pretend you're such an emotionless bad ass, "he explained, "Now let me see that hand."

She willingly surrendered her hand to him. It showed no signs of serious damage although a white semi-circle scar showed up clearly where her teeth were moments before. Clearly she had done this before. Her hand trembled slightly under his inspection so he steadied it with his own.

"This is not a healthy way to handle your emotions," he informed her, "you could end up with ulcers in your stomach if you keep doing this."

When he received no response he looked up from her delicate hand and saw that Sakura had resumed crying. His heart sank.

"Oh. . .I'm s-sorry," Itachi stammered. He hadn't meant to upset her; he was merely pointing out a medical fact.

"No, no!" she exclaimed with a half-sob, half-laugh, "It's just really nice to have a medical excuse to cry. This ulcer thing is for real?"

"Absolutely," he promised with a tender smile, "But. . . even if it wasn't . . . you have every right to feel hurt. I've seen how he treats you."

"Going to the store is really not a huge deal," she said defensively.

"It's not just that. . . is it?" he pried, "He doesn't touch you. He doesn't talk to you. He completely ignores you."

"And you're basing this off of what?" she demanded, "I've only been here a few hours. You have no right to judge my relationship with your brother."

"I've known him for as long as he's been alive. Like you said, he is my brother," he reminded her, "I've seen his relationships. And while I haven't known you long I highly doubt you deserve the treatment you're receiving."

"You don't understand! He's different over the phone! You should see the way he talks when he's texting me," she argued, wiping the tears from her face. Once the pesky water wasn't clouding her sight she noticed that Itachi had suddenly become very uncomfortable . . . or at least he looked like it.

"Maybe things aren't how they appear. . . "He muttered.

"What do you mean?"

Itachi swallowed and looked at her. Her eyes were red and puffy, her nose was running a little, and her mascara was smeared across her cheeks. She was completely vulnerable at the moment . . . and that was precisely why he couldn't tell her. Not now, not like this. Not while she was angry at Sasuke and confused about what was going on. If he was going to win her, then he was going to do it fair and square when she was in a proper state of mind. But he needed more time and he knew exactly how to get it.

"Nothing . . . Never mind. Maybe you're right. Perhaps I was wrong to judge your relationship. Please accept my apology. I would really like to get to know you better. You should join Sasuke and me this week in the winter cottage. Sasuke has some friends that I'm sure you know and you can invite some of your own friends if you like. The cottage is rather substantial in size, so invite as many people as you'd like."

". . . Oh I don't know, "she began hesitantly, "I don't have anything warm enough to wear. My clothes aren't appropriate at all. . . "

"No problem. You can go shopping tomorrow." He replied nonchalantly.

"What?" she mumbled confused.

"It would really mean a lot to Sasuke if you went."

How he managed to say that without puking he would never know. He hated to make Sasuke seem like a good guy, but he needed the extra time and he knew that this would be the only way to convince her to tag along. Besides, Sasuke would make an ass out of himself in time. He didn't need any help from Itachi.

Author's note: I'm sorry that this chapter was so late and so short! I've been busy with some fun stuff these past 2 days. Contrary to popular belief I have friends XP. However! That is no excuse! The next chapter will be much longer, I promise :) But again, its three a.m. and I'm sleepy and rambling. :P


	6. Shopping

Author's Note: I am sooooo sorry I haven't updated in forever! Things get incredibly busy what with all the AP classes and finals and rot like that. But this is my longest chapter yet (I had some complaints on shortness). I will also be introducing a ton of other characters at the cottage so please dont worry; there will be other characters involved. Anyways this is my last week of school and then I'll be on Christmas break so you can expect more frequent updates and a few more stories will be popping up as well. If you know any spelling errors or anything let me know; i didnt have time to edit and revise. Please review! I love reviews :) Thank you!

The next morning Sakura prepared for her outing with Itachi. After rummaging through her suitcase she found some suitable apparel: a slimming pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a bright pink flowing halter top flattered her body quite nicely. She smiled at herself in the mirror.

_"It actually looks like I have boobs!" _she thought, "_Thank you Victoria's Secret."_

She threw on a set of diamond studs paired with a long, golden necklace and then shifted her attention to shoes. Her eyes darted from a gorgeously painful pair of pink pumps to a sensible, dull pair of white ballerina slippers. The slipper were comfortable and made her waddle like a duck, but even though the pumps were going to hurt, they were also incredibly sexy and were sure to catch Itachi's eye . . . but that was wrong. She shouldn't want to catch his eye. Why did she want to anyways? She was in a perfectly happy relationship with Sasuke.

"_Happy," _she scoffed at her own thought; _"Yea . . . that's the word."_

An unexpected knock on the door jolted her out of her thoughts and rushed her decision. She quickly grabbed the pumps and hopped to the door as she pulled them onto her feet. She flung the door open, hitting the person on the other side straight in the face.

"Ow!" A man's voice cried out.

"Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry!" Sakura squeaked embarrassedly as she shut the door and came face to face with Itachi Uchiha.

Once they arrived at the mall Sakura felt very hesitant about shopping. Normally she would have been ecstatic, running around spending the money like crazy. But she never had a guy accompany her on her shopping exploits before. Sasuke always refused and perhaps that was for the best; all the attention was making her feel awkward. Itachi, in addition to paying for everything, was following her around to each and every store, happily watching her try on hundreds of different outfits. Even though he looked perfectly content just being with her it just felt so strange to have him around. Much to his dismay she continuously hung around the clearance racks, searching for the best bargains. She picked up a few sweaters, vests, long thick jeans and jackets. Itachi also forced her to buy some cute accessories to go along: hats, gloves, scarves, etc. They finally stopped for lunch in the food court around noon.

"Alright," Itachi said between bites of chicken, "Only one thing left to do: get you a formal gown."

Sakura choked and spat her food out.

"A. . . I'm sorry . . .What?"

"A formal gown," he repeated slowly, "Every time we use our parents' facilities they insist that we participate in some fancy, stuffy cultural event. This year it's an opera. "

"I . . . I couldn't possibly. . ." she stammered.

"Yes you can. And you will. Don't flatter yourself by thinking this is all about you. Several of our parents' friends will be there. You wouldn't want to embarrass my brother and I or our parents by appearing on my brother's arm at an important event wearing a frumpy set of jeans and a t-shirt, would you?" Itachi replied. He knew it sounded harsh, but he also knew that it was the only way to get her to let him buy her a gown.

"Oh no! Of course not. . . " She whispered.

"Ok then, its settled. You will get a gown. Are you finished eating?" He inquired.

"Yes. . . "she mumbled

"Then let's go."

He smiled at her and took her arm, leading her over to into one of the high end dress shops. As she marveled at the gorgeous gowns and their insane prices, Itachi sat back and admired her. Her astonishment amused him. Sakura moved cautiously around the boutique looking terrified of the dresses. He chuckled as he watched her tenderly pick up a price tag, gasp, and then drop it at once. After gasping and gawking for what seemed like hours, she picked up a few dresses and tip-toed over to the dressing room. Itachi pulled up a chair, sat himself in the corner and waited.

And waited. . .

And waited. . .

Twenty minutes passed and Sakura had yet to step out from the dressing room. Itachi was beginning to nod off in the comfortable arm chair. Stretching, he rose from the chair and made his way over to her dressing room door.

"Sakura," he called, rapping lightly on the door, "Sakura, are you alright in there?"

"I'm f-fine!" she squeaked.

"_What a lie," _Itachi thought. He could hear on the other side of the door: sniffling and whimpering. Her voice had tones of obvious upset and frustration.

"I'm coming in," he warned her firmly as he reached the handle only to discover the door was locked.

"Let me in," Itachi demanded.

"Give me a minute!" she pleaded.

"I've given you twenty. Now unlock the door or I'll kick it in."

His voice was soft, but strong. It frightened her a little; she knew he was not kidding. Much too Itachi's satisfaction, he heard the faint click of the lock after only a few seconds followed by the door opening slightly as an invitation for him. He slid in to find the lovely blossom crammed into a red dress that was 2 sizes too small for her, frustrated and depressed. Gently, he shut the door and stood off to one side unsure of what to do.

"Sakura," he whispered softly, reaching out to touch her shoulder, "Why did you do this?"

"I've never been a store this fancy before! I didn't what my size would be!"she exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air, "All I knew was that Sasuke likes tight, vixen-like dresses and that I wanted him to like whatever I picked out! So I grabbed this thing in a size smaller than what I normally wear and did my best to shove myself into it. Now I can't get out! I was too embarrassed to ask you for help but you insisted on showing up anyways. . . You big jerk!"

She punched him weakly at the end of her rant and began sobbing into her hands. The poor girl was clearly humiliated; the color of her face practically matched her dress and her eyes had yet to leave her feet. He took a slow step towards her and pulled a knife out of his pocket. This turned out to be the exact wrong thing to do; she freaked out even more.

"I'm sorry I hit you!" she screamed "Don't stab me!"

"Shhhh! Quiet, quiet!" he begged, tying to hold in his laughter, "Just calm down. Goodness, what will the owner think? I'm not going to kill you, I promise. Hold still. I'll take care of everything"

He stuck his knife into the silky red fabric and carefully began tearing it apart. The last thing he wanted to do was stab her. Her breathing made it more difficult to cut; the dress was skin tight on her. Eventually, he got it off. With a sigh of relief, Sakura collapsed into the corner, shaking a little. Itachi blushed a little when it suddenly dawned on him that she was now completely undressed. He covered her with the shredded dress and sat down next to her, wrapping his arm around her.

"You really shouldn't take fashion advice from my brother. He's a complete idiot," Itachi teased, "Red doesn't go well with your hair at all. It clashes actually. Green would be much better; it goes well with those lovely eyes of yours. You stay right here. I'll return shortly."

Itachi checked the size of the dress Sakura had squeezed into: a 2. In formal attire that might as well have been a 0. He retrieved a breath-taking, green ball gown in a comfortable size 6. He brought it back and she slipped it on; she looked gorgeous. The green corset with its black embroidery flattered her midsection, pushed her breasts upward, and highlighted her shining, emerald eyes. The bottom was nothing but black tool that poofed out in every direction. She was stunning: simply stunning.

"Wow," Itachi whispered, "We're definitely getting that one."

He left the dressing room and waited for Sakura to change back into her normal clothing. She emerged, dressed and ready, with the green gown in one hand and the torn red one in the other. Itachi took them both from her and went up to the cashier.

"We'll take both of these," he said cooly to the woman, who stared at the ripped remains of the red dress in embarrassment.

"I see you two have enjoyed yourselves," she observed snottily, "Is there anything I need to _clean up_ in there?"

Sakura blushed bright red. This lady actually thought they had sex in that dressing room? That's absurd! She opened her mouth to protest, but Itachi answered before she got a chance.

"No, we took care of it," he replied without missing a beat, "And why yes, we did enjoy ourselves. Thank you for noticing."

With that, he paid for the dresses, wrapped his arm around a crimson face Sakura and disappeared from the shop.


End file.
